Feagans Five
So at 2Rivers church on Sunday, Ron, our pastor preached on the 10 Commandments and made us all feel about 1 inch tall....
So here is what I am struggling with...maybe one of you can help...
#2: Do not make idols.
Or as Madison's book of the 10 Commandments has it...
DO NOT WANT WHAT OTHERS HAVE.
Daniel and I hang out with a lot of his friends from college. The are all great people and would do anything to help each other out....
But nearly all of them who are married live in these GINORMOUS houses. Some of them have children and some don't. ALL of them work, both husband and wife. And I understand that is how they are able to afford the really nice house (not that I am complaining, I love my house), but often I think I am the reason that we don't have that stuff...well actually I am the reason.
I love staying home with the kids and I love that I am able to crawl into bed with Madison when I wake her up in the morning....
I LOVE:
*being the first one they see and the morning and the last when they go down at night
*being able to kiss boo boos and hold them when they get hurt
*watching Parker mow the grass over and over with his mower
*Putting Lincoln down for his nap and getting him up
*seeing his face light up when I get him out of bed
*being able to take Madison to school EVERY morning
*being there as Madison runs to me when she gets off the bus
*knowing that the are in the best hands everyday of their lives
*teaching them their ABC's and 123's
*potty training them (even though sometimes I want to put out ALL of my hair)
And there many, many, many more that I could go on about for days...
So those of you that stay home is this a common concern that you have to or am I over reacting?
I just have to keep telling myself.....DON'T WANT WHAT OTHERS HAVE....
How do I get over this? PLEASE HELP....
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
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9 comments:
My mom stayed home with me when I was a child and that was the greatest gift she ever gave me! We are also surrounded by a lot of 2 income families, but I wouldn't take a 5000 sq. foot house for the times I get to spend with my babies! Hang in there! I'm sure your investment in your children will surely be worth it in their futures!! Hang in there!
First off, I think this is probably something most stay-at-home parents deal with. "The grass is always greener." Not even a year ago, I was climbing my way up the corporate ladder, making a great income and loving my job. But I had longed and longed for the life of being a mother. As a matter of fact, when I met you, I struggled with being envious.
I'll tell you - you listed 10+ reasons that you shouldn't be envious. Not that there is anything wrong with working when you have to. But, I'm a firm believer that if you have the ability to stay at home with your children, you should. I guarantee that your children will remember all the dear moments you had and will have together. They wouldn't remember all the "stuff."
But, don't feel like there is something wrong with you for wondering. A little reinforcement from friends goes a long way.
You're never going to believe this...BigMama posted something you will probably want to read. Go to her blog at bigmama1.com and read "Thoughts from the other side of the lawn"
I am sensing a theme here!!!
http://pinkmommylife.blogspot.com/2007/10/just-read-post-i-cant-think-of-title.html
hi, i am a ssr (you'llknow what i mean since you know rachel). i am a stay at home mom of 5. i totally know what you mean. i have been doing this since i graduated high school (i was in your hubby's class) and i wouldn't have it any other way...but i totally related to the struggle to not want what others have. i think i struggle more with the pressure it puts on my husband. just keep your head up, and remember these are your best years spent with the people you love most. this is probably coming out totally wrong...but know as a fellow sahm, i support you and believe you are doing a great job!
Let me just say that you are one of the many people I envy! I can't seem to have children, but when the Lord lets me I doubt I will be fortunate enough to stay home with my children and cherish each and every little moment. You have the life I only dream of. I am sorry you feel this way.. but I promise you one thing.... nicer "material" things will never feel the empty void like being a mommy, let alone a stay at home mommy.
Right now I am on mandatory over time working 75-84 hours a week and I don't have time for my own husband now. I know there are many people who strive to work this much over time just so they can have nicer things... but what do they have to do to have this.... sacrifice their families!
I am going to keep you in my prayers Jennifer... just remember there are ones who wish they had what you have :)
I guess it's common to WANT more. Talk about a waste of time though. You have so much more than most in this world have. A bigger house won't make you happier. It will give you more work and then you'll wonder why you wanted a bigger house. You are giving your kids the best start in life they could ever get. If you were out of the house you wouldn't be as into their lives as you are now, and that is something that you can't recover. I see my happy grand kids, a happy household, a hard working loving husband, and a hard working loving mother. Nothing else compares. You are truly blessed. Nothing you could want could ever compare. Honestly, the more one earns, the more one spends. Then one wonders where does all the money go. Money will never buy happiness. Bigger isn't better.
Sorry I kind of ran on and on. But when my mind starts to wander like that I quickly look for and see what I have and the smile comes back.
Isn't the real problem wanting yet having no action? Expecting others to provide for desires is probably the worst thing anyone can do. So if you want a big house, do what you have to for income and financial consequences of the choice. If you want to be at home with kids, accept your choices and deal with those consequences. Your choices are yours. Hopefully you choose important and beneficial things to you and the people around you. I don't buy the stay at home versus two income argument over and over again. Neither is better, just choices of those people.
Don't worry about it. You can always rent happiness. http://www.bagborroworsteal.com/
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